Jarvis and I walk past a women [sic] walking her two tiny dogs. One of them is not at all happy to see Jarvis.
Tiny dog: YOU GOTTA LOTTA NERVE SHOWING YOUR FACE AROUND HERE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, THEN I'M GONNA EAT YOUR BODY, SHIT IT OUT, EAT THAT SHIT, AND THEN SHIT YOU OUT AGAIN! HEY, DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME! I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT! IF I EVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN, I'M GONNA SUCK OUT YOUR EYEBALLS...
Through all of this, Jarvis doesn't say a word. He just looks straight ahead, pretending not to hear. The little dog keeps it up until we're out of sight.
Me: What was that about?
Jarvis: Hmm? Oh, heh, yeah... we, uh... we had a bit of a misunderstanding once.
Me: What kind of misunderstanding?
Jarvis: Well, I may have mis-read a few signals...
Me: You humped him?
Me: But he's tiny!
Jarvis: And I have no balls. I can't really be choosy, now, can I?