What's in a name?

I found out today that a man who was a big part of my childhood died. He and his wife were friends of my parents and went the church of my childhood. He and his wife were the creators of "Megala". One of my many nicknames. I decided to go through my nicknames, well, as many as I can remember.

Meg (my first ever nickname since my given name is Margaret)
Megala
Margar
Midge
Peggy
Peggy Sue
Megaroni
Megra
Meggo
Meggles
Megster
That Girl
Megger
Marge
Moony
Babe

I am my father's daughter

I've been on the phone with my dad a couple of times this last week. His health is not good and that, in my ever so humble opinion, is also impacting his mental health. He's not happy. He tells me about how much my mom has to do for him these days. I get the vibe that he's feeling humiliated by it all. He gets choked up and tells me that he's always thanking my mom for each thing she does. She tells him he doesn't need to thank her. They've been married 51 years. I told him it is what you do.

Shawn and I will be married 11 years in a few days. As I have conversations with my dad about what my mom does for him. I get him. I relate. In our time together, Shawn has had to do so much for me in regards to my physical and my mental health. I honestly can't think of anything I have ever had to do for him. Not one damn thing. Obviously I don't wish Shawn to be sick. It's more about feeling bad that the scales are so out of balance.

They have 51 years, Shawn and I have 11. However, my dad and I are kind of in the same place.

Hold On

Yesterday, Wilson Philips' Hold On came up on my iTunes. I tried to get that song to change me in junior high. I wanted it to be my anthem. My childhood anxiety and loathing (which, we all know, has come with me into adulthood) were in need of some kind of help, especially since I was hiding things. I mean, I chose my Confirmation name (non-Catholics, it's a name you choose when confirming your faith. For me, it was in junior high) because I thought I was so terrible. The Saint whose name I chose was Augustine of Hippo. He was a sinful guy. He was hedonistic. He was a wild child. But, he turned his shit around. He became a saint. I thought this was amazing. If he could turnout to become a saint, I most certainly could be a better person than the one I was at the time.

Maybe I am a better person than I was.

But yesterday, when the song came on, it made me smile. Bridesmaids changed that song for me. Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph doing there jam to that song was so amazingly awesome. The whole movie is so funny, I've seen it multiple times, which I don't typically do with movies. So, it's a different anthem, I suppose.

"Things'll go your way

If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day"