Friday, March 31, 2017

Here's how my liver is living

I wrote about my physical health a few weeks back. So, blood work, ultrasound, and now an MRI for my liver happened. The results were a benign cyst on my liver, fatty liver, and gallstones. I am supposed to go 3-6 months for another MRI to check the cyst. Then there's diet and exercise to be figured out and acted upon for the fatty liver. The gallstones will just chill out in their home until they decide they want to be assholes and wreak havoc on my gallbladder.

So, all is well...ish.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

A big ole what the fuck?

I just got back from a trip to CLE with my husband. During the trip, things came to a head with my friend from this previous post, How did we get here?. I REALLY should have let things go, but my blood was boiling from something she had said to a mutual contact.

A lot of the text argument had me confused. She claimed that I did the blocking on social media first. That doesn't really make sense as to why I would try contacting her daughter to see what I had done to upset her. She told me the messages, texts, and the letter were too much for her daughter and for her to handle. Again, don't understand why there was no response to let me know what I had done. Then, I became more confused when she told me I ignored their requests. I asked her, in this text war, what she was talking about. No answer. I again said that I didn't understand what requests she was talking about. Again, no explanation.

I don't expect things to ever be the same. She says she's living in the present and those things don't matter. I'm merely looking for answers, which don't seem to be coming.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Oy Vary!!!

Well, it's been all ECT, mental illness, yadda yadda, up in here, that it's about time we get back to some HOOHA posts. I mentioned some "female troubles" a little over a month ago. Those troubles meant a trip to the gyno. Yesterday was that trip.

My appointment was yesterday morning. I waited in the exam room for my doctor (I LOVE HER). When she came in she asked me what was going on to bring me there. She also asked what's been going on with my mental health. She isn't an in-and-out gyno, both in conversation and with the speculum. 

Anyway, she decided I needed an ultrasound to check my remaining ovary. You don't even KNOW how awesome an experience an ultrasound is for me. I've had so many doctors and ultrasound techs up in my HOOHA, I wasn't nervous about the procedure. My modesty is long since gone. My ovary is around back which makes it difficult to find. My left one was that way, too. So, when I have to have an internal ultrasound, it's a real pain in the ass, or the pelvis. The tech's use of the wand feels like she's playing Atari and it's one hell of a game. I gave her the heads' up that it was a tricky little bugger. This was probably one of the most painful of all my many, many ultrasounds. The wand goes straight inside and then, because of my ornery remaining lady part, she begins to push it further and further and further to the side. It took a very long time for her to finally find the little bitch (that's my pet name for my right ovary now that she's all I have left). Ahhh, relief and time to get dressed.

I went back to the examining room to wait for Dr. I Love You to meet with me again. She came in and got down to business. The good news was that there was no new trouble with the last ovary. She explained that the endometriosis was still a force to be reckoned with. She said I had some fluid that may have been a ruptured growth that will be reabsorbed and that may have been what caused some of my discomfort. 

Then we moved on to options. She said my endometriosis was a really bad case. The right ovary was still suffering from it. She said I could have surgery, which would be a complicated case, to remove righty mcbitch. This would mean instant menopause, which was the reason for leaving the right asshole behind during the hysterectomy. I could start monthly Lupron hormone injections to stop the ovary from doing its thing. That would be kind of like menopause, but not fully. Finally, I could just wait things out until I go into menopause naturally. She said, as always, it is my decision and she would be there for whatever I want to do.

Well, for right now, I'm going to just wait for nature to take its course. The pain is a mere annoyance. It's just a little cramp. It doesn't double me over. I'm not in search of pain meds when it happens. If things change, I know my options.

Now, tomorrow, on to my liver.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

"On This Day"

Facebook has a feature that allows you to see old posts from throughout the years. It's a fun thing to look through each day.

Now, it is a bigger deal because I've started to get to the point of last year that I began to lose my memory. I thought the memory feed would be a cool thing to go through to help me experience my life. And, it has kind of been neat to see things. There are pictures from our Cleveland trip. Some of them are really sweet showing Shawn with our nieces. There are goofball moments with my BFF Linda.

But, there is also a sadness. There is the realisation of all that I missed out on experiencing...but, I did experience them. It's a bizarre and frustrating thing to go through. I wish I remembered the tender moments between Shawn and our nieces. I wish I remembered being a goofball with Linda. My Dad holding my brother's dog in such cute way. Tasting all the amazing food that it looks like we had. All of these things I don't remember.

It's hard for me to say whether it is better to be completely clueless or to see these pictures everyday.

It will be a long year on Facebook.