Monday, April 25, 2016

The writing on the stall

Years ago, when I was still living in Cleveland, I experienced a low point in my reputation as a bleeding heart. I was working for a publishing company at which a male coworker was transitioning. The "T" of "LGBTQ" was smack in front of me. I wish I would have handled myself better at that time in my life.

I honestly don't know why trans issues have been more difficult for me to express tolerance. Seriously, as I think about that time of my life and look at the hate bills in places like North Carolina, I feel a sense of shame. Why was it such a big deal around my office? Did it need to be? I think maybe things could have been handled differently to help everyone with the transitioning. The thing is, I don't know how. With legal rights and political correctness, maybe things just weren't set-up for a successful handling of such a situation.

Guilt plagues me to this day. Was I petty? Mean? Yes. Mean girls don't stop being mean once they are out of school. Do I wish I would have been a nicer person? Yes. But, I'm not going to pretend that I would like to have befriended her. I didn't like her. That is part of my problem with guilt. I need to realize that it was okay for me not to like her. The dislike wasn't because of her being trans, it was because we just weren't a match. I need to acknowledge that we weren't friends because it wasn't a fit, not because I was a bigot, anti-trans, bitch.

When it comes to public restrooms, it's entirely a matter of trust. I'm an in-and-out ASAP user. People are pigs and public restrooms are the their sties. All that matters to me is getting in, doing my thing, and getting out. This is my hope for how others view the experience, too. My same office where I worked with the trans woman, I experienced shit smears, used tampons, and other messes. THOSE are the things I don't want happening when I'm sharing a bathroom with people. I can tell you people in the office who did not wash their hands when finishing up in the bathroom. Those were the people who I didn't want to touch food they brought or I didn't want to hand off a visiting baby to because they were disgusting.

Michelle Duggar and other hyper-conservative-anal-retentive-sexually-stunted-types want to to turn the bathroom issue into being all about sexual perversions. It's NOT FUCKING SEXUAL. It's, hey, I just need to drop a deuce or take a piss. The other stuff, gay or straight, pedophilia or consenting adults, is not supposed to be happening in public restrooms at all. PERIOD. So, those laws/ordinances already exist. The ego of people who think that other people are obviously looking to have sex with them or their children and loved ones is mind boggling to me.

Guess what, Michelle? You have already been in restrooms with trans people. I'm willing to bet on it. Oh, and how'd those bathroom rules work at your house with your kids? Maybe it would be best for you and yours to get a gig with Depends to protect you from those scary public restrooms and get you some income since the T.V. series kind of fizzled.

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