In the reality of my dreams, this blog was making me money and getting me book deals. Someone, somewhere, thought I was worth paying attention to and paying money to. So I wouldn't have to be dealing with the painful life's work of job searching.
Job searching sucks. I don't even know what I'm searching for. Also, I don't feel like my shit is under control. ECT seems like a failure. Meds are always being adjusted. I cry so easily. I simply can't keep emotions in check. How am I supposed to figure out this whole work thing?
Why can't I have some friends with some kind of employment connections? Why can't things be simple? Why can't the whys be answered?