Oh, my boys

Me: Dammit, Jarvis, don't eat all that goose poop!

Jarvis: Oh, I'm sorry... did you want some?

UPDATE - Another walk

Before the walk:

Jarvis: Okay, let's go! Let's get out the door! Let's head out! Like now, like right now...

Me: Hang on, Buddy, I have to put on my socks.

Jarvis: Okay, your socks are on, now let's go!

Me: I just have to get my shoes on...

Jarvis: Great, got the shoes, now it's Walk Time!

Me: Just a second, I need my jacket...

Jarvis: Oh, for fuck's sake!

During the walk:

Jarvis: How are humans the dominant species on the planet?

Me: What do you mean?

Jarvis: "Oh, I'm a human, I can't go outside without shoes, or I'll hurt my dainty pink feet! It's too cold to go out without a jacket! My human skin is so sensitive!" What's all that blubber for if not insulation?

Me: It's not "blubber"... It's just, you know... cookies are delicious...

After the walk:

Jarvis: Hey, where's my treat?

Me: Since you're so advanced, I figured you could get it yourself.

Jarvis: What?

Me: Yeah, just stand erect and use your opposable thumbs to open the freezer. Oh, wait...

Jarvis: That's cold, man. That's real cold.