Thursday, January 23, 2020

Oh, my boys

Me: Dammit, Jarvis, don't eat all that goose poop!

Jarvis: Oh, I'm sorry... did you want some?

UPDATE - Another walk

Before the walk:

Jarvis: Okay, let's go! Let's get out the door! Let's head out! Like now, like right now...

Me: Hang on, Buddy, I have to put on my socks.

Jarvis: Okay, your socks are on, now let's go!

Me: I just have to get my shoes on...

Jarvis: Great, got the shoes, now it's Walk Time!

Me: Just a second, I need my jacket...

Jarvis: Oh, for fuck's sake!

During the walk:

Jarvis: How are humans the dominant species on the planet?

Me: What do you mean?

Jarvis: "Oh, I'm a human, I can't go outside without shoes, or I'll hurt my dainty pink feet! It's too cold to go out without a jacket! My human skin is so sensitive!" What's all that blubber for if not insulation?

Me: It's not "blubber"... It's just, you know... cookies are delicious...

After the walk:

Jarvis: Hey, where's my treat?

Me: Since you're so advanced, I figured you could get it yourself.

Jarvis: What?

Me: Yeah, just stand erect and use your opposable thumbs to open the freezer. Oh, wait...

Jarvis: That's cold, man. That's real cold.

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Simply ordinary

Last night, Shawn and I had our typical Tuesday movie night. As I sat in my reclining seat with my Coke Icee with Shawn at my side watching a movie (about Fox News nonetheless) I couldn’t help to think how lucky we were to be sitting in the theater. We were able to be a captive audience to the world of major motion pictures. Despite the disaster of diplomacy created by the pathetic and unstable 45 who is bringing us to war, we were safe from missile strikes. Our ordinary lives remained ordinary. We weren’t at risk of destruction of our home, loss of friends and family, our lives forever changed by the effects of climate change causing wild fires previously unimaginable.

Here we are today. Shawn, across the hall working in the home office; me, sitting on our bed prepping a deposit surrounded by paperwork from cat and dog adoptions; and, Jarvis at my feet. No smokey air from missiles outside. No smokey air from climate change created wild fires outside. Just birds chirping and cars passing with Jarvis’ occasional growl for our protection from the UPS guy.

We are so fortunate in our ordinariness.