Sometimes people don't know what words mean

The existence of the FCC and the libel and slander torts are examples of how freedom of speech isn't what many seem to think it means. Lately, many invoke the Constitution when the speech being "restricted" is speech they agree with, or at least they think they do.

There's been an uproar about free speech in the aftermath of a suspension of a reality TV star for saying some bigoted things. This became major news and brought people front and center to defend the guy. One such person was Sarah Palin. The woman, who claims to read "all of 'em" when it comes to print media, was getting her panties and pencil skirt in a bunch about free speech over words she admitted she didn't read or hear. I guess this means she really believes in the freedom to speak because she is defending this guy without knowing what he said. Kudos, Sarah Palin, kudos!

Now, where was all this defense of speech when other networks made decisions to suspend, terminate, or accept resignations from TV show hosts for things that were said on or off the air? Martin Bashir made some pretty hateful remarks about Palin that led to his resignation from MSNBC. There was no one from Palin's side of the aisle throwing down the free speech defense for him.

These TV personalities were free, ARE free to say all that they said. They have not been imprisoned. The networks that these people appeared on also have the freedom to decide what they will and will not support being said on their broadcasts. You can say what you want, but you can be fined, sued, or fired, too.

When an exception should actually be the rule

I was raised to be a Roman Catholic. And I tried really hard. Looking back, it was probably around 2nd grade when I became a closeted atheist. As time passed, I became like many closeted people---denying my closeted beliefs and trying really hard to live outside. Obviously, since I'm writing this, I have come out of the proverbial closet.

As a liberal, there are many parts (some little known) of the Church's social teachings that really are amazingly powerful, caring, and loving. I've often thought them to be the Church's best kept secret, unfortunately.

Pope Francis has really taken off in popularity. He has been named "person of the year" for Time magazine and The Advocate. These are great things. I've even heard some say that he speaks to the modern world in a way that has not been heard or seen since John XXIII during the era of Vatican II.

Even as an atheist, I can appreciate Pope Francis' words and deeds. I hope it continues and, more importantly, I hope it brings a change to Church he leads.

However, in some ways, I am saddened by his popularity. You may think that a crazy thing to say about someone doing such good and bringing about hope in people. What bothers me is that when it comes to his predecessors in the role of Vicar of Christ, the Christ Head on Earth, his words and deeds are the exception not the norm. In the line of St. Peter, the Church's social teachings should not be a secret that Pope Francis is bringing out of the closet. The Church needed the Pope Francises throughout its history. His message, his actions, should really have been and continue to be the rule, not the exception.

2013 = Suckiest suck that ever sucked

If we were in a world in which 2013 wasn't the suckiest suck that ever sucked, I would be wearing clever maternity t-shirts in the last stages of pregnancy. The holiday season would be filled with the anticipation of a new baby. Finishing touches would be added to the Lil' Cthulhu or other geek themed nursery. But, no such world exists.

In my 2013, there is no pregnancy and won't be any in the years to come. My husband and I will not have a child we make together. No Finnegan and/or Beatrice for me to feel growing inside me. I cannot do this thing, this thing that women are built to do.  In fact, all those parts women have for that purpose, I have to have removed. Where do I go from here? How do I stop wanting something that cannot be?

Some people (therapist included) have said that I have to mourn. Right now, I can't even comprehend how that would play out. When I think of mourning a loss, I think there was something and now there isn't. How do you mourn the idea of something? The want for something you never had? 

I have moments when I think about the amazing experiences we would share with our child. Like the wonder of the holiday season. We would see the Parade of Lights, Zoo Lights, and lights at The Butterfly Pavilion through the awe in the eyes of our child. I would smile as our little geek marvels at the world of Marvel (not DC) that Shawn would introduce to him/her.  Down the line, there would possibly be the rebellion that he/she might exercise through becoming a fan of DC instead of Marvel. We would possibly become grandparents and I would feel that I left a mark on this world. I could die knowing I contributed to the future; that my life meant something and left a legacy. Is listing my dreams of our life part of the mourning process? Will this help me let go of this horrible pain?

I have a hysterectomy to schedule at some point in 2014. Will that be when I mourn? During that process that seals the deal on my not being able to carry and birth a child? 

All I know, in response to these questions, is that I just don't know.

Oh my, I did this...YIKES

So, we've established my weird sing-to-myself & Jarvis habit.  Well, I can't believe I'm about to admit to AND post my latest creation which came to me this morning:

I've got the toe of the camel

And you're gonna see me pull

Sorry, Katy Perry...