I disagree with agreeing to disagree

I’m tired. I’m tired of so many things. The one thing that has really gotten to me the last 8 years or so is being told that differing opinions don’t mean we can no longer be friends and it is childish to think it does.

We are not talking about simple differences in opinions. We are talking about ideologies that impact actual human lives. These are things that are classifying some as lesser. The thinking that rights should be taken away because they shouldn’t have been granted in the first place is not simply an opinion.

Saying that Teddy’s Guncle shouldn’t have a legally, valid marriage to her wife with all the benefits that entails is not the same as saying that Coke is better than Pepsi (even though Coke really is better). Actively working to have it invalidated is not an agree-to-disagree situation for her or those of us who support her.

I had breast reduction surgery because I could longer deal with the physical issues having extremely large breasts caused. But, there was an internal aspect, too. I couldn’t live how I wanted, be who I wanted. This was fine. No one protested my right to the procedure. I wasn't told that God made me to have huge boobs and I need to live with 

Somehow, people see trans and non-binary persons as going through a phase; freaks; mentally ill; whatever other things they come up with to minimize their reality. Gender affirming care is necessary. If Conner’s step-sibling has top surgery so they are free to feel their authentic self, who did they hurt? They aren’t pushing an agenda that everyone should be breastless and should be non-binary. There is a sense of peace and pride that shows in their pictures now.

Folks who go crazy about pretty much anyone in the "alphabet [used in a derogatory way]" community, claim pretty much any one part of the LGBTA+ community is living unnatural lifestyles. I'm not painting with a broad brush here, but many of the folks with this thinking tend to be Trump supporters. Speaking of painting, these people need to look to their orange leader and recognize that he is being unnatural. Also, the amount of plastic surgeries and fillers and botox in his posse, are also not natural. So, they can have procedures that are not natural to make themselves feel better about themselves, I guess. But, the people who want to be their authentic selves, should not even think about having procedures done.

I want Teddy to have the rights to gender affirming care, if that is were his life path leads. Thinking he should not have those rights is not a little difference of opinion in our family. If you can't accept Teddy's authentic self and feel his rights should be stripped from him, then that's not a vibe our family wants to have around.

Then there is the desire for Gilead. Women around the country are having their bodily autonomy limited bit by bit, state by state. I'm almost 50 and do not have a uterus, so I know I won't be wearing red. But, we aren't Christian, so I'm not entirely sure where Shawn and I will fit. Conner, will end-up in red and I'm not sure where Teddy will go.

In all seriousness, the extreme ideas about women's rights are insane. Vance thinks childless women are a lesser class, yet is anti-IVF according to his voting record and things he has said. So, if you are childless, but don't want to be, then you're screwed. And, stepparenting does not count toward having a child. 

Women are dying because procedures are being made illegal that previously were life saving for an expectant woman. Some laws are so confusing that medical providers aren't even sure what they can and cannot do without risk of criminal charges. Carrying a dead baby to term seems cruel, not to mention dangerous.Touting something about "post-birth abortions" to make people think people are deciding they don't want to be a parent after having gone through an entire pregnancy is beyond ridiculous. The very idea of women being put at risk of death because of an ideology claiming to be "pro-life" is contrary to how my mind works. Women being allowed a chance to live shouldn't be minimized as one's opinion rather than a human right. 

I can agree to split a pizza with you on which your half has anchovies and my half has ham and pineapple. You can wash it down with a Pepsi while I drink my ice cold, Coca-Cola. But, if the conversation turns toward calling for the removal of rights for women, minorities, and LGBTQ+ individuals, I'm going to have to pay my half of the bill and walk away.

In a World

You know when you see a movie trailer and it starts with, "In a World" being said in a dramatic voice?  It's not usually the kind of thing said before a rom-com. So, if 2020 was to be a movie trailer, it would most certainly start with "In a World."

In a world where a president fails his country by not addressing the heads up on a virus, over 180,000 people have died.   

In a world where a president contradicts all the safety precautions to help lower the spread of the virus, six million cases have been reported.

In a world where a president "doesn't see" a report that Russia was paying bounties to the Taliban to kill American troops, American troops were killed.

In a world where a president says there were good people on both sides of an alt-right rally, the floodgates of racism burst open.

In a world where cops and racist civilians are killing POC, Black Lives Matter.

In a world of all these things, stress, anxiety, and depression can really take over. It seems hopeless.

But, in a world where a stepdaughter is pregnant, a baby boy will be born, and hope and love will rise.

TSK...The Black kids have the worst lunches

I've been watching interviews of Cori Bush lately. She's a nurse, single mother, ordained pastor and community activist. She just won the Democratic party's primary for US Congress in Missouri's 1st District. It's a huge win. 

Her interviews point out aspects of poverty. She talks about her own experiences with poverty. This is the topic of her platform. She talks about the cycle of poverty and how it is so difficult break from it. At one point she talked about food insecurity. As I listened, I thought of an experience from my college days.

One summer when I was in college, I worked for a summer day camp. No big deal, nothing fancy. It was part of the city's recreation department's summer programming. I like to think the director was ignorant, but I think she may actually have been racist. 

Some days we went next door to the city's pool. As the kids would get ready, I would help them with sunscreen. This included the African-American kids. In a snippy way, she asked me why I was doing that? I told her the kids still need protection from the sun. They can get sunburn, it may just take longer, but it can still happen.

Then, there was the time she made a snide comment about the differences in the lunches the African-American kids brought and the lunches the white kids brought. She thought it was terrible how unhealthy the African-American kids' lunches were. Therefore, the parenting wasn't as good. She needed to hear about how finances make a difference in groceries. The best options for healthy food cost more. Sugary "juice" drinks are cheaper than real juice. Produce is more expensive than chips. It's unfortunate, but is the reality some people live with. This food issue can lead to poor health, which is just another part of the cycle of poverty Cori Bush has as her campaign platform. 

#BLM

 

Peanuts vs. Jelly Beans

In fall of 1980, I started kindergarten. I was a 5-year-old. It was an election year. The Republican Ronald Reagan was running against the incumbent Democrat Jimmy Carter. Scholastic News had ballots for us to use to vote. They were pictures of each candidate. We had a booth to cast our vote. It was a "brick" cardboard play house. Each of us took a turn to go in and put the picture for our candidate in a box. I don't remember who won and I don't remember who I voted for, perhaps Jimmy Carter. I was 5, what did I know?

Around the time I was casting my vote, Jimmy Carter was signing the Mental Health Systems Act of 1980. The MHSA was to set up grants for community mental health centers. Their was a movement for rehabilitation of people with sever mental illnesses in the 1970s. The focus of the movement and the law were on the same page. So, community health systems worked to coordinate general health care, mental health care, and social support systems. I didn't know this when I voted in kindergarten because...well...remember I was 5-years-old.

Thirteen years later, I was just out of high school. I went on a service trip to the intercity of Cincinnati. It was about 10 days of living above a storefront with a bunch of teenagers and some adult leaders. It was incredibly eyeopening. We did various jobs. I was at a soup kitchen. It was like nothing I ever experienced. We had speakers who worked in different ways with the poor and homeless. We went to hear one person and that's how I learned about the floodgates of mentally ill persons being released from hospitals. A year after Jimmy Carter signed the MHSA into law in 1980, Reagan repealed most of the law. So, mental health care saw major cuts. 

This changed my view for the rest of my time in Cincinnati. There was a park in front of where we stayed. Lots of homeless were there. I talked to one man who was a Vietnam vet. It was obvious he really could have used help. He showed me the scar from his sternum diagonally down his left side around to his back. Much of what he talked about didn't make sense to me. If I knew about PTSD back then, I would guess that was one of his issues.

Many at the soup kitchen were surely suffering from some mental illness or other. One day, a woman came through the line. She was wearing a purple fishnet shirt. That was it for the top. No regular shirt. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure where to look. I mean, we talk to those who come through the line. It would be weird if I ignored her. She did the talking and moved on through.

In both kindergarten and the summer after graduating high school I wasn't aware of my mental illnesses. Now, I've been living with it, in good times and bad. So, it is a very important issue for me.

Looking at the two presidents and at an area that is very important to me, I'd like to think I went in that "voting booth" and voted in the interest of my future self. I'd like to think I voted for peanuts vs. jelly beans, that I voted for Jimmy Carter. 

Through my struggles, I can breathe. There's the difference.

It's been my experience that people who have a hard day or are struggling for some reason will tell me that they know it is nothing like what I live with regularly. Comparing struggles, I guess I would call it, is something I've touched on before. I try to tell them that my struggles don't minimize theirs, that struggles are relative. I try to really believe that. I have to admit, though, that there are times when I think, "IT'S A FUCKING HANGNAIL!" 

Lately, my struggles have been real. There's been major anxiety with physical manifestations. A lot of tears of both sadness and anger. Then some pretty high moments, for a little while, only to crash. So, I'm struggling and having a hard time listening to some people with theirs.

And then...I'm pretty sure events of the world are putting me in my place and saying, "You think you're struggling, well, hold my beer."

I turn on the TV, I go on social media and I'm overwhelmed. I see:

George Floyd.

Breonna Taylor.

Ahmaud Aubery. 

And so on.

And so on.

And so on.

Hate crimes toward all people of color.

Throughout the history of this country.

Connect the dots

This is going to start off a little weird, like not 100% fitting to the post as a whole.

When I was little, like early elementary school, I was pretty familiar with funerals. My dad's aunts and uncles had started to die. I remember his grandmother dying. She lived in a nursing home a good drive away. She had broken her hip and then developed pneumonia. So, I came to associate breaking a hip with dying. I didn't really understand the pneumonia part, but in my mind, the two were connected.

As I grew up, I discovered that a broken hip doesn't cause pneumonia. I started to understand the connection of the broken hip to pneumonia was only that being bed ridden caused fluid to build up. Being as old as my great-grandmother was, all of these things created the perfect storm for her to be unable to combat the pneumonia.

Pneumonia.

Come the late 80s. The AIDs epidemic was making its way through the world. Our little corner of the world was not safe. My dad's cousin was infected, full blown AIDs, not HIV. Then, that word, pneumonia, crept into our vocabulary again. When he passed away, AIDs, itself, was not listed as the cause of death. I learned that his death was from pneumonia. There was no broken hip involved in this case. There was AIDs and the suppression of his immune system. So, it was death by pneumonia due to the immunosuppression from AIDs.

COVID-19

Here we are, 2020 and a pandemic. I know pneumonia has played a part in this. I have a friend who was infected and ended up with pneumonia. She has recovered, thankfully. But, is it really surprising to have pneumonia rear it's ugly face?

I'm going to stop with the pneumonia talk, but not with the cause and effect piece of how health conditions can connect.

Governor Cuomo of New York recently adjusted the number of COVID related deaths causing an increase to the statistics. And.......then comes 45 and his COVID briefing. He gets in his expert over all the things mode and criticizes Cuomo. He implied it was an attempt to make things look worse than they are. Well Dr. 45, MD, shut the fuck up. A patient with COVID can have other health problems arise. So, yes, it is possible to have a fatal heart attack due to COVID. Let real doctors, not lackeys, but real doctors who are fighting along with all other types of medical personnel to educate the masses.

Simply ordinary

Last night, Shawn and I had our typical Tuesday movie night. As I sat in my reclining seat with my Coke Icee with Shawn at my side watching a movie (about Fox News nonetheless) I couldn’t help to think how lucky we were to be sitting in the theater. We were able to be a captive audience to the world of major motion pictures. Despite the disaster of diplomacy created by the pathetic and unstable 45 who is bringing us to war, we were safe from missile strikes. Our ordinary lives remained ordinary. We weren’t at risk of destruction of our home, loss of friends and family, our lives forever changed by the effects of climate change causing wild fires previously unimaginable.

Here we are today. Shawn, across the hall working in the home office; me, sitting on our bed prepping a deposit surrounded by paperwork from cat and dog adoptions; and, Jarvis at my feet. No smokey air from missiles outside. No smokey air from climate change created wild fires outside. Just birds chirping and cars passing with Jarvis’ occasional growl for our protection from the UPS guy.

We are so fortunate in our ordinariness.

#InHerOwnTime

I'm pretty sure I've already touched on this subject, but here we go again. Another woman coming forward to tell her story of sexual assault years after it happened. Questioning why a victim waits to tell their story should be over by now. It's like how the same questions and statements are made after a mass shooting. We need to move beyond these questions each and every time and start to really acknowledge the problem and try to change it.

The latest story in the media is another victim of the President. E. Jean Carroll has come forward several years after her assault to tell her story. Of course the President does his typical denials and slings insults. He attacks her looks as an excuse, claiming she isn't his type. Assault isn't necessarily about attraction, it's about power, and we certainly know how much power tripping he's got going on.

Victims come forward in their own time. They have several reasons for coming in that time. Even if the President wasn't in the Oval Office, his life holds wealth, power, and fame. He had a way of using those thing before being President and of course took them with him into office.

Victims come forward in their own time. Some need time to work through the shame they felt as a result of the assault. Or, the perp was an upstanding member of society who the victim was afraid to name. Maybe they took a payoff and/or signed an NDA and later decided that was the wrong way to go. No matter what, it is always #InHerOwnTime.

Taking America's Pulse

It was three years ago that the mass shooting took place at the LGBTQ nightclub Pulse in Orlando, FL. I'm sure I was aware of it at the time, but because of my well documented memory loss in 2016, I learned about it later.

I don't understand hating someone for loving someone else. I can't imagine not being able to be out in public with Shawn and show some sign of affection. Why not love and let love?

We had far to go in this country when it comes to homophobia, transphobia, and all the other ignorant bigotry before Pulse happened. Now, because MAGA hat wearers and other hate groups have taken a rise, I would feel less safe as a member of the LGBTQ community than ever before. This administration has emboldened so many that by taking America's pulse at this time, you can certainly feel the fear of another Pulse.

Mother may I?

It's been over a month since my last post. I wasn't sure if I would continue, and, quite frankly, I'm still not sure. So, for what's worth, here's a new entry and maybe the last.

These days, as a liberal, I'm not sure what I'm allowed to watch, who I'm allowed to be entertained by. 

Last night, Shawn and I saw The Upside. It wasn't high on our list of movies to see; not really a type we go to, but it was $5 ticket night and it wasn't something really heady, so we went. I thought that maybe I wasn't supposed to see it because of stuff Kevin Hart said. All I really knew was that he said something about how he's not a gay ally or something along those lines. I thought that wasn't a huge deal. I mean, not being an ally doesn't mean you are terrible, does it? Isn't just about staying out of it? I did a check-in on Facebook about seeing the movie and a friend, who happens to be gay, made a comment saying, "Ew." I chickened out about responding because I thought he was probably calling me out about Kevin Hart. I looked into things more by googling Kevin Hart. He said some pretty shitty, homophobic things.

This kind of thing has me wondering what I should do about the entertainment choices I make. I honestly don't know. Can I watch things that a person made before I learned of the terrible things they have done? Can I watch The Usual Suspects in light of knowing that Kevin Spacey has been charged with felony sexual assault? Louis C.K. was a favorite of our family, but now I can't stand him and don't want to listen to his stand-up. When tweets are dredged up from the past by a conservative group even though the tweets had already been acknowledged and apologized for by James Gunn mean he should never been given a job again? 

When I was in high school, my older brother said he would never see a Whoopi Goldberg movie because she admitted to having had abortions. I told him that if that's the case, there are probably others whose movies he should not see. So, if I said that from a liberal point-of-view speaking to a conservative, should I say that same thing as a liberal to a confused liberal?

Life was easier when my parents told me what a could and could not watch. 

It's not going away

In the early 1990s, I was a pretty conservative kid in some ways. In September of 1991, I was a junior in high school and 16-years-old. The SCOTUS confirmation hearings for Clarence Thomas were taking place and I gave no shits, as far as I recall. Then, in October of 1991, Anita Hill started to testify about being sexually harassed by him. That's when I started to pay attention in my young, naive, conservative way.

I called bullshit. How in the world was this woman coming forward after all that had been done? His confirmation was practically a done deal. This seemed so ridiculous to me. I thought that if things were that bad, she would have done something about it.

I was everything that disgusts me today.

I really should have known better. When I was a kid, I had experienced some sexual curiosity, I guess you could call it. This is nothing like assault. I wasn't a victim of something. It gave me horrible guilt and anxiety, in part because of who I was with. I'm leaving that out because they have the right to privacy, and, like I said, it wasn't an assault or anything like that. However, I carried it in the pit of my stomach for close to 20 years. I was afraid of getting in trouble and having people looking at me with disgust.

I did tell someone, finally. The very first psychiatrist/therapist I saw. I was 28-years-old revealing something from when I was about 12. He told me it was entirely normal behavior. He told me kids do that, they are curious, and they do it with whomever they are hanging around at the time. I had a sense of relief and told a couple other people, including my mom. Everyone's reaction was pretty much "that's it?" kind of vibe. I still have moments of feeling terrible, though, and try to work my way through by remembering the reactions of others.

What does this have to do with Anita Hill or #MeToo or Kavanaugh? I was not a victim. I was not abused. I was not assaulted. I was not harassed. Without all of those things being a part of my story, I was still afraid of revealing it to anyone for well over a decade. So, if I wasn't victimized and had no fear of the person I was with coming after me in some way, how can I possibly have the mindset of my 16-year-old-Anita-Hill-is-full-of-shit self? How can I expect women to report the crimes against them right away? How can I not #BelieveAllWomen #BelieveWoman #BelieveSurvivors? 

So much mattering is happening

Presidential elections matter. Primary elections matter. Midterm elections matter. State elections matter. County elections matter. City elections matter. All elections matter.

If you don't think they do, think about the road you are driving on; the paramedic who saved your grandma's life; the police response time when you really needed them. Those are things that come from government; come from elections on tax increases; come from something that comes from a ballot.

Here's something I discovered for myself during this primary cycle in CO. There were a number of county level offices, mostly uncontested. I typically would just fill in the bubble like the guesses I made on the SAT. I just figured that they were from my party affiliation so just go with it. I decided to look around more for all the candidates.

The county coroner's office on ballot actually had two candidates. I thought about it and was like, "Who cares who cuts me open. Does it matter if they are red or blue?" Since I was already all about the Google for my voting needs, I decided to look at the coroner candidates. I figured I'd just see some medical credentials, maybe coroner positions held previously, yadda, yadda. As I was starting my Google search for the one candidate, high on the list of results was something about his focus on transgender and non-binary people when it comes to death. He is a supporter of LGBTQ rights and with that comes his stance that coroners need to respect gender identity in death as much as it should be, needs to be, in life. He wants death certificates to reflect the person's identity as they had lived.

This really blew my mind. Not the LGBTQ, trans, non-binary stuff. The part where a coroner actually has a political platform, for lack of a better description; that coroners have more on their mind than human dissection; that red or blue choices in coroner might really MATTER.

So, again, for all the bullshit that goes along with it, politics, voting, and making your voice heard all really do matter....especially in the age of the motherfucker in chief.

What have we done to ourselves - oh, wait, I didn't vote for him.

I never thought I would come close to eating these words. The state of the U.S. and its place in the world is becoming quite scary to me. The things that 45 is getting away with are stomach churning. He's got the whole ripping kids from their parents thing going on. Yeah, Obama had shit going down, but his wasn't the separation (with spellcheck, how did 45's people spell that wrong?). He deported a crap ton of people, so STFU about him already. Oh, right, 45 went with an executive order to end seperation [sic]. That was a lot of bullshit with little actually being done. And then, he gets his fucking racist Muslim ban a thumbs up from SCOTUS. He also removes us from the the U.N.'s Human Rights' Council. Pardon me while I go from some Pepto, Tums, and all the other stuff to try to turn my stomach right. He also pulled out (if only that were a successful form of birth control and that his dad would have practiced it) of the Paris climate agreement. Then there's his grand standing, dick measuring contest he had with Kim Jong-Un. His Twitter feed is another example of how vile this guy is. These are becoming horrifying times...I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this, but they are.

Then, there's SCOTUS. Holy crap is it also becoming a bit disturbing. Believe me, I am not Colorado proud when it comes to Neil Gorsuch having a spot on the bench. We need RBG to hang on for a long time - science, make this happen!!!

And now, I need to find some shitty T.V. to cleanse the palate and calm the stomach.

"I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

I'm smart.

I'm not Doogie-Howser-MD-at-14 smart.

I'm not summa-cum-laude-from-Harvard-followed-by-an-Oxford-Fellowship smart.

I am smart. I have a piece of paper, a very expensive piece of paper, from a respected Ohio institution saying I have a Bachelor of Arts (given my actual academic skills, a BS* {ba dum tss} probably would have been more accurate). An institution founded in 1871 that was the first women's college in Ohio and among the first in the country. Despite my best worst study habits, I had  grades that meant, when I crossed the stage for the expensive piece of paper, I got a little gold addition to the diploma saying that I was smart. I was finishing up magna cum laude.

*I am smart enough to know that I was making a joke about BS meaning Bullshit instead of Bachelor of Science.

So, why does it matter that I'm smart? Social media. Social media is why it matters. I took a break from Facebook because I felt like I was being made to feel stupid. I'm sorry, Madame First Lady Roosevelt, I guess I'm giving all kinds of consent to many on Facebook to make me feel inferior.

I used to think rhetorical questions were a kind of literary device that could be used to provoke thought. I thought I was being clever and smart. But, when I've used them on social media, I end up being schooled in all different ways about the topic of the rhetorical question. Comment after comment of articles to educate me. If I wasn't being rhetorical, I would share articles and shit. I KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE. I'm smart.

When I decide to share something, I try to make sure it's not bullshit. Sometimes I'm not as thorough as I should be, but I really do try. I KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE. I KNOW HOW TO USE SNOPES.COM. I'm smart.

Sometimes a meme is just a meme. I shared a funny meme. It didn't say anything about any political party, and any particular presidential administration. It was not challenging any data...or at least, I didn't think it was. Perhaps the meme could have applied to a few years ago, that didn't make it any less valid today. It was funny. I found it to be clever. I'm smart.

I made a post venting about a situation. I was venting that the situation wasn't trending. It just seemed like something that some of the people I know on Facebook would typically talk about. I merely said what the situation was. I made no comment regarding either political party, or the current vs. previous administration. I'm horrified by the current administration, don't get me wrong, but I also don't have rose colored glasses when it comes to my guy from the last administration. The post was strictly bringing up an issue that was in the news, but not my trending list. Again, it wasn't a post needing to have articles posted, such as the one that pointed out that it wasn't something that started with 45. I wasn't asking what the story was, I was pointing out that the story wasn't trending. I KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE. I'm smart.

I made another post. It was a very specific point involving Constitutional rights. Again, a very specific situation. A comment was made that seemed like an attempt to school me and friends who were reading the post. It felt like it was being made to point something out to me that was nothing I ever made any kind of comment on. Like, I'm known to be liberal and couldn't possible see the parallels. I mean, obviously I'd be a hypocrite and therefore ignorant as to how the cases were the same issue. I understand things. I'm smart.

I'm smart.

I'm not degrees-from-all-the-Ivy-League-schools-at-10-years-old smart.

But, I am smart.
 

We shouldn't be the cause of someone else's #MeToo

It kind of seems like #MeToo has died down some on social media, but I'm still trying to wade through my thoughts and experiences. I feel we still need to learn more, teach more, and make changes. Black dresses, white roses, pink pussy ear hats all need to mean something.

That brings me to something I saw the other day that got me thinking. It's kind of along the lines of how I feel about presidential minor children being off limits for ridicule. A meme showed up that had Sarah Huckabee Sanders and, yes, I don't agree with her politics, but this wasn't mocking them. Have I thought her to be unattractive? Yes. Have I had the same thoughts about Kellyanne Conway? Yes. Am I proud to admit that I've made those thoughts public? No. Have I made jokes about 45's appearance? Yes....but to be honest, his orange skin and bizarre hair isn't natural, it's a choice....that's probably an excuse to justify myself.

Anyway, if the black dresses, white roses, and pink pussy ear hats are to mean anything; if they are meant to be about the empowerment of woman; if they are meant to support victims of various abuses, shouldn't we do better than memes about other women's appearances? We can support one another as women on these things, even when we differ in our politics.

I am sure I will need to check myself and I will most certainly wreck myself, but we should all try.

You get a vote! And, you get a vote! Everybody gets a vote!

About a week and a half ago now, I guess, The Golden Globes were on. Oprah was honored with the Cecil B. Demille for "outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment". I am not here to dispute her merits. She has had an incredible life and has done some pretty amazing things. Her acceptance speech was both inspiring and on point when it comes to the current climate of empowering women in an industry which is proving more and more to mistreat women sexually and financially.

With all that being said, I move on to the outpouring of "Oprah for President" and "Oprah 2020" sentiments. Let's think about this. The current White House resident can sound dumb as a box of rocks (my apologies to both boxes and rocks). He is not eloquent nor inspiring to those who want justice, equality, peace, and tolerance. Oprah does have 45 beat in this area for sure. I would never dispute this point.

But, a good speech does not make a president. Let's not start a trend of celebrity being the qualification for becoming commander-in-chief. Do we want to be a part of a cult of personality? Blowing someone up to heroic proportions; using ones celebrity status to rally the masses. This isn't to say that celebrities can never be a part of the world politic. But, jumping right to trying to be president doesn't sit well with me. Reagan eased his way in by being a spokesman for the Goldwater campaign, he was a part of many political committees, and he was elected Governor of California all before he made his presidential bid, which we all know he won.

So, how about "Oprah for Governor", "Oprah for Representative", "Oprah for Senator", heck, maybe even "Oprah for City Council", just to get started?

What'chu talkin' 'bout, everyone?

It's about time for another trip down amnesia lane. This is such a part of my life, yet I still manage to be surprised by it.

The combination of the electroconvulsive therapy and my very strong reaction to anesthesia just wreaked havoc on my memory. My life right now involves watching "Stranger Things" 1st season for what I think is the 3rd time. Things do seem familiar this time, so progress? I check with Shawn to see if I'm responding the same way this time. Did I cry like I did now? Back when we watched "Captain America; Civil War", I think it was that, he said I said the same things. It's so bizarre to experience your lack of experience around something.

I wonder if things will get to a point where Shawn doesn't preface statements with, "You probably don't remember...", or "Do you remember?" Will my memory be sharp again? Will it always be slightly off when it comes to present moments, present information retention?  It's certainly not what it was before this shit went down.

IMHO

I have been almost 100% free of most form news and social media from Friday through Sunday. Seriously, I don't think I spent more than 15 minutes total. My time was spent watching three different Marvel Netflix series and "Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown." All of it is too much.

Seeing as this is my blog, many things posted are in my humble opinion. Two things have weighed heavily on my mind; the use of "Hitler" and "Nazis"; and 10 year old Barron Trump.

The first thing, which I may have written about before, has bothered me for years, long before Trump entered the political realm. I wish that people would stop using "Hitler" and "Nazis" to describe someone or some group with whom they disagree. I try to catch myself. I'm talking things like "grammar nazi", "femi-nazi", or calling someone like Trump "Hitler".

These things insult victims, survivors, and those who fought in the Holocaust. Until one of these things selects a group of people and orders them to wear a symbol on their clothing and live in ghettos, orders death marches, loads trains to take people to concentration camps, sends people to gas chambers, starves people, shoots a group to fill mass graves, and any other of the horrors of the Holocaust that I may have forgotten, they are not a "Nazi" or "Hitler".

Don't get me wrong, however, there are some people in more recent history who I would not argue with being labeled "Hitler". First there is Idi Amin, President of Uganda in the 1970s. At first he chose the Acholi and Lango ethnic groups to be massacred. Then he moved on to almost every other type of group of people who may be against him in some way. Another example is Slobodan Milošević. He was brought to trial at The Hague for genocide; complicity in genocide; deportation; murder; persecutions on political, racial or religious grounds; inhumane acts/forcible transfer; extermination; imprisonment; torture; willful killing; unlawful confinement; wilfully causing great suffering; unlawful deportation or transfer; extensive destruction and appropriation of property, not justified by military necessity and carried out unlawfully and wantonly; cruel treatment; plunder of public or private property; attacks on civilians; destruction or wilful damage done to historic monuments and institutions dedicated to education or religion; unlawful attacks on civilian objects. That list, I believe, makes him "Hitler" worthy.

The second issue I mentioned is 10 year old Barron Trump. I've heard that some insulting comments have been making their way around social media. The idea that someone would think that's okay boggles my mind. When Chelsea Clinton was the first minor child to inhabit the White House since the Carter administration, people were brutal toward her, mocking her appearance. Why do people think this is okay? A minor child, who in no way chose to be in the public eye, is off limits. I don't like Trump. I'm not okay with him being president. If you want to call him an asshat, douchebag, motherfucker, that is one thing, but leave his 10 year old son alone.

Why standing with Her was so important to me

Facebook has an "On This Day" feature in which a series of posts from previous years are collected. On Wednesday, November 9th, I was looking through the posts as I was dealing with the sadness I was experiencing based on the official Donald Trump election results. Then I came upon a post from 4 years ago about heading to the hospital for surgery. A new wave of sadness poured over me.

I had been having some trouble getting pregnant and my OB/GYN had me taking Clomid in the hopes that it would prove that my troubles weren't severe. Then, I developed what we thought was an ovarian cyst, a rather large one, but one that she could remove with a standard procedure. The size was the diameter of a soda can. So, November 9, 2012, I had it removed.

The news from the procedure turned out to be the beginning of major infertility hell. It turns out it was not a simple ovarian cyst. It was an Endometrioma; a very large, blood filled mass. My OB/GYN was shocked to discover that I had Endometriosis. She couldn't believe the severity of it and that, at 37 years old, it was just being discovered. Also, with this discovery, she realized that I needed more help with my infertility than she was able to offer with my prescription of Clomid or anything else she could do. So, lists of recommendations for fertility clinics were given to me.  

In the end, the Endometriosis won out in the fertility battle and I had to have a hysterectomy.

This anniversary being shared with Trump's victory really upset me more than the anniversary by itself. It got me thinking of my womanhood. It got me thinking about woman's healthcare. When it comes to politics and woman's healthcare, so many focus on abortion like it is the only issue a woman might face. No, it's not! We face so many things. Planned Parenthood helps women face so many of those things. Trump and conservatives want to make it about abortion; they want it to be about destroying Planned Parenthood; they want it to be more expensive for birth control; they want to fuck us over, and not in the good way.

I stood with Her and oh, how I wish she would have won!  

The heart of the matter

When sharing this Dan Savage column on Facebook, Shawn wrote the following post. I find it worthy of sharing beyond Facebook, so here it is:

This is important. Please read it. If you're someone close to me, please read this and understand that this isn't just some angry political post about how bad the other candidate is compared to my candidate. This is me trying to make you understand -- to really understand -- something important. Something that should be important to both of us.

In the wake of the now infamous video of Donald Trump and Billy Bush talking about kissing and groping women, many people -- including some people that I love and respect -- were quick to dismiss the whole thing as "guy talk" that happened "a long time ago". But it's much more than that. It's indicative of the way far too many men think about women and about sex. It's not harmless banter. It revealed something about Trump that should not be ignored.

After the video was released, a lot of those who condemned it explained that they did so because they had a loved one who also happened to be female: a daughter, a wife, a mother. We shouldn't have to have a woman in our lives to understand that women are people, and deserving of respect. But if we have to view this through that lens, then fine, let's do that.

I have a daughter, whom I couldn't possibly love any more than I do. And depending on who's reading this, you may love her too. If not, think of the woman who is most important to you. Imagine if she came to you and said that some man put his hand up her skirt without her permission. Would you believe her? Would you tell her that this is just how men behave? Would you ask her what she was wearing? If you confronted the man and he implied that he'd never do that because your loved one isn't attractive enough, would you accept that explanation?

Trump bragged about how he could do whatever he wanted to women, including grabbing them by "the pussy" because he's a star. He said that he can't stop himself from kissing attractive women. He's said that he likes to walk into dressing rooms at beauty pageants unannounced so he can see women (and girls) in various states of undress. And when those claims went public, multiple women came forward saying that they'd experienced that very behavior. There's no reason to doubt that a man would do the things he boasts about, and yet there are many who do, and that's the problem. We excuse men for being animals, and we ignore women whom these animals attack. Or worse, we blame them for their attackers' behavior.

I'm not writing this because I don't want you to vote for Trump. Obviously I don't, but what I really want you to understand is that that "locker room talk" is not harmless. It's not typical. It's not okay. It's part of an entire culture of objectification and abuse. Not all men think this way, but far too many do, and the rest of us must speak up and make it known that we don't support it.

Think of my daughter, or think of any woman in your life that you love, and ask yourself if you'd really be comfortable allowing her to be alone with someone like Trump. Ask yourself if you want her to live in a world of Trumps. This is a big deal. It's important. Please don't minimize Trump's words or actions. I know you're better than that.