Yesterday, Shawn was talking about Trump. For some reason, I started to think about the way he sways back and forth when someone is talking. I have the sense that he is completely distracted as he does it. Someone else is speaking and he just doesn't give a shit.
After playing out that visual, my train moved on to the next stop. I started to think about the movement of someone holding a baby or small child. It's not the same as Trump's movement, but it has a certain rhythm. It's also contagious. I've caught myself doing it when being around the person who is actually holding the child.
Leaving the station now to make the next stop.
As I thought about the baby holding movement, it reminded me of a time years ago. When I was going through all the convent stuff and thinking about that life, I was at mass. There was a woman holding her baby and doing the baby sway. I caught myself moving, too. Then it was time to sit and I kept watching her. My thoughts moved to how to continue with my life's path, I was consciously choosing to never have children. Convent life meant never being called, "Mama".
Making way to the railroad switch.
A thought about a swaying baby which turned to a thought about swaying with a baby, moves childlessness.
As we know, if you've been around to read some posts, the convent thing didn't not play out. So, I no longer had to choose not to have a child. I could happily make that choice. Well, I could choose to try to get pregnant. But, infertility meant never being called, "Mama".
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