Anxiously anxious

The other day I had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist. I was telling her about my anxiety and the physical manifestations I've been having when it's at its worst. She asked when I'm feeling the anxiety. Shawn is in my appointments a lot of the time to give a realistic perspective. So, when she asked this, he said that I feel anxiety daily. Some level of anxiety is my baseline of existence. I told her that when it is higher than normal I have diarrhea. There are nights, maybe once a month, where I have both diarrhea and vomiting.

Here's the stream lately. Not knowing how to do certain technological things. Freaking out and needing Shawn to come help. Work - stress having me go from one extreme to another as far as roles and feeling deemed lesser. Money. We are okay, but not okay enough to be able to do remodeling and landscaping. People not wearing masks to protect others, especially when I'm wearing one to protect them. The president, always. A friendship I don't understand the status of and so I've withdrawn and am sick to my stomach regularly. Not feeling like I can do anything. Stressing over trying to practice mindfulness because my mind is full. So, my attempts to relax my way out of anxiousness have led me to greater anxiousness. I feel like I don't follow the rules of the experience, which misses the point, in a way.

So, what's next? Blood work. Results that will be used to determine what to do about my meds. Will my thyroid be the problem? Will my Lamictal level show that a change in that med is necessary? Will Paxil, in a very low dose, be added to help with the anxiety in addition to the Ativan I already take? Will that small dose of Paxil have the effect that it tends to have for Bi-Polar patients? So many questions. What will the answers be?

Excuse me while I go deal with my anxious stomach.