Thursday, February 9, 2017

How did we get here?

The story of this blog post has been with me for awhile. It's an example of how relationships can change. There can be an ebb and flow between friends. Then, unbeknownst to one, the entire relationship ends. It boggles my mind, but it is reality.

I had a person in my life for as long as I can remember. We didn't really have much of a relationship when we were young. Our relationship developed much more as we grew into adulthood. The bigger events of life seemed to bring us closer.

When she got married, I wasn't only a bridesmaid, but I helped make centerpieces and that kind of thing. I was at the hospital for the births of her children. Well, I was getting ready to head out to get there for one of them and got a call that she already arrived. Anyway, I was there from the beginning. Actually, for one of them I was possibly going to be in the delivery room in case her husband was sitting for a certification exam for work. That didn't happen, but could have.

I was active in her family's life. For one of the kids, I was godmother. Different activities the kids were involved with, I made an effort to be there. We joked around together. A couple of times, I was the wingman for candle parties and that kind of thing when she was invited to them. 

When I moved to Colorado, texted was very important to us. She would also call me when needing to say more than she could in a text. She vented to me and that kind of thing. The kids were also keeping in touch with texts and social media. 

One time, one of the kids had a SnapChat of a very teenage kind of picture, but still should have been thought through before posting. So, I simply sent a message to say that she may want to think about what she's posting and that her mom might see it. Then, there was a Facebook post (may have been Twitter) that said something about not being able to be reached by phone. I jokingly said something like, "Uh-oh, did your mom see the SnapChat?" I'm not 100% sure of the exact details since it is going to be 3 years since this happened. After I made that joking comment I was completely blocked on every form of social media with which we were connected. 

This was a few months before my hysterectomy. I tried calling and texting to ask her to explain what happened. When I was getting closer to my surgery date, I decided to write a handwritten letter. Since any surgery has elements of risk, I wanted to make one more attempt to clear things up. I just wanted a sense of peace heading into my procedure. No response whatsoever. 

I tried checking in with her mom, my friend. Nothing was said about it. She didn't give me any thoughts of her own about it. It was like everything in our lives, except for this, was fine. Then....

She stopped communicating with me completely. All was done. I was left with no idea why things changed with either of them.

I had gotten to a place of acceptance for quite some time, but ever since around Christmas, it's been eating away at me.

One thing I have to remind myself of is that even if I get some kind of resolution, there is no way to get things back to what they once were. That is sad.


No comments:

Post a Comment