#itskindofajokebutiamthispathetic

While I was recovering from surgery this summer, I discovered a whole new world that exists after 9 p.m. Not having to get up at 4 a.m. allowed me to screw up my sleep schedule in all kinds of ways -- it was AWESOME! There were even times when Shawn and I actually went to bed at the same time (not for sexytime, surgery put the kibosh on that for a while).

With this awakening {BA DUM TSS}, I was able to watch "@midnight" on Comedy Central which actually comes on at 10 p.m. here; when you leave in Mountain Time, you learn that television is pretty East-ocentric. I was awed by the humor the internets could provide on a "game" show like this one. My favorite part of the whole thing was #hashtagwars. I swear, that segment taught me my life's purpose in the Twitter-verse, of which I never fully felt a part. It's an audience-plays-along-at-home thing. Oh, when the topic of the war was revealed, I would take to the keyboard.

Some night's I would get on an amazing roll of profound wit and punnery. I was gaining followers; my tweet counter was rapidly rising; I was being re-tweeted; and favorites of my tweets were reaching new levels. Oh, the high I felt was inspiring. People liked "me," they really liked "me!" One night, even the show re-tweeted me!!! I made it on to it's Top 10 list for that particular hashtag (#WorseCollegeMascots, about which I tweeted, UNLV Pawnbrokers). This meant that I could possibly have my tweet broadcast on the next episode of the show! My husband shared this accomplishment on his own social media pages. He was proud of me and wanted people to know it. Everything seemed so fulfilling!

Then...my six weeks of recovery were up. I was only going to be able to play if I didn't have to work the next morning and if I wasn't too tired. The realization of what I was missing out on by regularly having an early bedtime just made thoughts of my return to work that much more gut-wrenching.

It sucks to only be an occasional participant. The worst is when I see a hashtag from a night I couldn't play and I know I would have been able to create a million tweets about it. Then, on nights when I can stay awake, the topics are sometimes about something that I'm not too up on and clever. Without being able to saturate Twitter with my good and bad jokes, my stats numbers aren't reaching the levels they did before my return to work.

Now, as someone who measures her self-worth in qualitative things such as Facebook likes and shares; blog views and comments; Twitter followers, favorites, and re-tweets; and any other measurable social media activity, this is quite a blow. I have hit a low. Did I peak too soon? Am I the Halle Berry of #hashtagwars; getting my version of an Oscar and now being on a network T.V. series (which I'm not even sure if it has succeeded to stay on the air)? She actually won and wasn't just a nominee. Being on the Top 10 list is probably more like a nomination. I guess I may be more like the Haley Joel Osment, getting a nomination early on and not doing much since.