Spinning my wheels

My husband and I just returned home after a visit to see my family in C-Town. This trip opened my eyes about some things and the return drive gave me more than enough time to think. A lot of time on the road turns into a lot of time in my head...A LOT OF TIME.

Here is a list:

• It is hard for me to accept that my need to visit isn't always as important to those I would like to see. My youngest nieces still get excited about my visits. It's so awesome to pull in the driveway and have three little girls waiting up to see you. Some of the other kids are older and have really active lives so excitement about me coming has waned with time. I went out to eat with some of the family and one of the older kids didn't even say two words to me or Shawn. This was heartbreaking for me. 
• The ache and longing for a child doesn't get easier. 
• It was great to be able to see a different side of talent in one of my older nieces. We were able to see her perform with her a cappella group. My usually experience of her non-academic life is to see her play hockey and soccer.
• I need to suck-it-up and schedule my hysterectomy. The discomfort from the endometrioma is becoming more frequent.
• The full break-up with retail work needs to happen. 
• I'm getting closer to 40 years old everyday and something's got to give. 
• I love my family and friends and good food and laughter.

So, that's that and now back to my regularly scheduled schedule.