Brown bag lunch

I'm not sure where I heard it or read it, but there was this tip that you could use the same mask throughout the day if you put it in a brown paper bag between use. Who knows? It may very well have been bullshit, but, nevertheless, we have a large number of brown paper bags.

Yesterday I packed my lunch in one of them. 

Before he retired, my dad's entire work life included a brown bag lunch. A simple meal in a simple sack. He would reuse the same brown bag for days in a row. The bag would make its way from crisp to soft, wrinkled, and then it would tear. It would get changed out at that point and the whole routine would start again. 

We thought it was a silly, quirky thing, but it was my dad. And now, I have something else around the house to make me think of him. 

He was a good man, a really good, good man

When my dad died, I received texts and messages via social media. Since my mom isn't on social media, a copied everything, including some messages on my oldest brother's Facebook page into an email for her to read. I thought about it the other day and decided to share them all here. I'm not using the first and last names and all are as they were written.

My smile memory is of your father's laugh. He had the best laugh. And when he told a story, he was so intense, wanting to get all the details right. He was such a kind man. - Marie G

Yesterday?! Meg I am so sorry. I knew you had been on my mind for a reason. Your dad and mom are special to me, he would always stop by the children's desk if he was in the library for FoEPL business. Of course, you know that I saw your mom at storytime. I really a go m truly sorry, but grateful that I can say that I knew him. If any of you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. - Cherese

Your Dad and my mom had birthdays a couple weeks apart. He would always call her to say say happy birthday old lady. We always got a chuckle out of that. - Becky A

Prayers to you and your family. Your dad was one of the kindest person

I’ve ever met. He was a beautiful person and will be looking down from

heaven at his family. His kind words and ways will be missed. - Lisa H

I’m so sorry, your dad was such a great man and kind person. I’m keeping you all in my prayers - Kristen B G

He was such a very sweet man. I am so sorry for your family - Sheila F

I am very sorry Chris to hear thoughts and prayers to you and your family he was a great man. - Bill D

My condolences on this loss of this gentle caring man. Peace - Nicholas A

My condolences. A great man in every way - George B

Chris, so sorry for the loss of your father. He was such a nice person and always had a great attitude about life. - Ted K

So sorry for your loss. He was a kind wonderful man and wonderful example to you kids. May he Rest In Peace. - Peggy O-C

Very sad news. The original south lake sh group is about gone now. Your parents were so good to my mom. There is a place for him. - Mickey F

Always so awesome to our clan in the days, patience- Ken R

Chris I'm sorry to hear that. Kindest man I've ever known. Bar none. Can I do anything? - Emmett

Chris, I am so sorry about your loss. What a wonderful man and a friend to the entire F family who kept a keen eye over Nana. We will always be grateful. Please share the sentiments with your mother and siblings...I know from experience it is hard to lose a loved one so close to Christmas. Today's weather should provide some peace and quiet to reflect on your beloved father. - John F

He was the family historian and will be missed - Dennis D

He was a very kind man and he will be missed. - JoElle

He always treated us all as family. He will be missed by all. - Les K

Not a specific memory but his smile could always be depended on and it would always make me smile in return. - John E

Oh Meg, I am so so sorry for your loss. I always enjoyed your stories about your dad. Sitting with you in your grief. 💓  - Mary Beth W

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I enjoyed hearing about him through your anecdotes. - Cori

 

Oh Meg!! I’m an so very sorry. Your dad was a special guy 💓️💓💓 - Laura G P

I will miss his Christmas letters. A great family history. A great tribute to my cousin John. I have fond memories of visiting their house with book lined walls! He will be missed. - Beverly 

Oh Meg, that's terrible news. I'm so sorry. My condolences to you and to all of your family. You've told so many stories about your dad that I felt like I know him without ever having met him, and that sounds like a life well lived.

I'm so sorry for today. Lots of love from over here. ♡ - Cynthia R

May you and your family find peace in his peace. We are going to drive around and look at lights tonight - I’ll be thinking about your Dad as we do. - Mary Frances 

So so sorry Meg..John has such wonderful stories and memories he shared. - Dawn A-H

Sorry for your loss, Meg. We got the news this morning. He was so welcoming when I entered the family. If you need anything, please reach out. - Alyssa H

Meg, I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. I always looked forward to you sharing stories about him and I know he will be missed! - Chris B

Oh Meg, I am so sorry to hear this. Your stories of him were heartwarming. Hoping all of your memories bring you peace. - Katie P

I am so very sorry for your loss, Meg. Thank you for sharing so many stories about your Dad over the years, especially loved the card and letter stories. He really did embody all the wonderful qualities of a loving father🥰May he live on in your heart with all your splendid memories. - Jenne C C

I am so so sorry to hear this, your dad was awesome and I always loved running into him and chatting with him. - Monica F M

Meg, so sorry to hear this! You have expressed so much love for your dad through posts and blogs that I almost feel like I know him 😔 Hoping for some peace for you and your family. Sending you 💓️💓 - Alaina P

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss Meg. He was such a kind soul, and I will miss getting his cards and letters this time of year 💓️. -Kyra H

So sorry he was a true gentleman. Now he and Nana can have a good chat. God bless his soul. - Mel F

Meg our heartfelt sympathies go out to you and the entire family. Your dad was one of a kind! we will all miss the Christmas letter. 😉  May you find some peace knowing he is out of pain. - Kathy S

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. I loved reading your posts about him and how he impacted those around him. Wishing you, your mom, and family comfort and peace, especially when you recall precious memories of him. - Michelle F

So, so sorry! Your dad was definitely one of a kind. He will be greatly missed. 😘  - Korie R

I am so sorry to hear this. Your dad was such a kind and funny man. I will never forget all the conversations at Perkins and elsewhere. RIP♥️ - Brigid C

My heart is broken for you and your family....Your dad was an incredible guy. I loved talking with him and making him laugh. He was an absolute joy to be around. I'll certainly miss that Christmas letter 💓 - Linda R-F

He was one of the good ones. So sorry to hear and all my love and condolences to you and the family. - John E

Your dad was one of the good ones. Always had a smile and a laugh. I will miss his Christmas card but will always think of him this time of year. Thinking of you, your Mom, and your family in this next step. - Celina H M

So sorry to see this. Such a kind soul! Prayers to you and your family! - Beth

Very sorry for your loss, Meg. Your dad was a wonderful man. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. - Brian Q

Meg, I just heard about Dad. Mary Beth Q just called me. May God bless Mom, you and all the family with great strength and love at this time. It's surreal that he passed right before Christmas knowing how much he loved this season. I always looked forward to receiving his Christmas card and letter about the family each year. May he take part in a celestial Christmas this year. Sending hugs, Meg. 🙏💙🙏  - Bonnie M

I’m so unbelievably sorry your heart is hurting. I know through your stories what an incredible man, husband, father, grandpa, and friend he was, and the void he will leave behind. - Shelly M

I'm so sorry for your loss, Meg! Your dad was a wonderful man. 💓️ - Karen D

Denise: How blessed your family is to have had such a great father, husband and grandpa. And how he has even touched extended families lives. 💕what a wonderful life had.

Me: Denise I’m so glad you were one of the caring faces he got to see soon before he died.

Denise: aww thank you, he was just as I will remember. Sitting in his chair still cutting coupons in the hospital. Only thing missing would be your mom getting ready to prepare dinner and general hospital on the TV in their tiny kitchen. I use to look forward to going there after school

Also Denise: Thinking of all you guys, your parents show the strength of a couple being married so so long, such good people hugs.

Know that I am thinking about you and your family during this difficult time. I know it has been a long time since I’ve seen everyone but your family holds a special place In my heart from our days at Holy Cross and Perkins. Your parents are wonderful people and your father will be missed by many. I hope you are hanging in there and remember to take help from others when they offer you support. Something I have learned to do this year that does not come easily. Let people be there for you just as you would be there for others. - Ann C D

Meg, I’m so incredibly sorry. I’ve been so selfishly wrapped up in our own family problems, I didn’t see this until now. You are all in my thoughts. We’ll forever be indebted to your parents for helping us make Eddie the articulate, curious guy he still is today. - Stephanie M L

I don’t really have specific memories but omg when your dad thought something was funny, I had to laugh. Sometimes I had NO CLUE what he was talking about but, when he laughed, I laughed. He was so fun.

To get your dads Christmas card on the day he passed gave me a feeling that I have never felt before. He was a great man who built a wonderful family. I am thankful to have been a part of his Christmas card list. I am sad and sorry that he is gone, hugs for you all. - Kate E

How did I used to write here?

I've been in this place for months now. There are many things to write about, but I can't quite manage to do it. It should be so simple. It's my life, I know the subject matter best, or do I? I don't know. I wonder.

I suppose life is filled with ripping the Band-Aid off moments, and this is kind of like one more.

My dad.

My dad is.

My dad is dead.

The last time I saw my dad, in real life, not virtually, was October 16th, 2019 when I was leaving to come home to Colorado after 2 months with him in Ohio. He had been quite sick. I already had a trip planned and just extended it. 

The last time I saw him in a virtual capacity was December 22nd, 2020. He was in the hospital and his nurse Face Time'd Shawn and me. It was the end and the nurse gave us a chance to say goodbye. Early the next morning, my mom called to tell me he was gone. He died on Christmas Eve Eve. It was a weird kind of thing to have him die during his favorite time of year. Christmas had always been his thing and I always thought about that every year, now it just comes to mind in a different way.

I can't get all the words out. I'm far from getting all the tears out. I don't know that I ever will.